


Tord's A Little Bit Gay, and Tom Knows This

by acidbathh



Series: Literary Character Studies [1]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, i can fucking promise you that, i don't take any of these as seriously as my writing may sound like, i just had this in my head for a few and wanted to get this out, i promise that i'm gonna do some more character studies, with more characters at some point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 00:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19937032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acidbathh/pseuds/acidbathh
Summary: Sequel to Enigma Cornucopia.Tord is stupid, and smart and kind of hot. Tom wonders what it would be like to kiss him in the middle of a fight, maybe. He never gets to, but he still wonders.Meanwhile, Tord is struggling with coming to terms with bisexuality, and goes to the most likely unlikely person he knows.





	Tord's A Little Bit Gay, and Tom Knows This

**Author's Note:**

> it stoipid, i know just read it or die

There's a lot of words that Tom could use to describe Tord. Stupid. Excitable. Overly-masculine. Extroverted. Evil. Kind of annoying. Pretty.

He was all of those things, and more probably.

He was conventionally attractive. He had darker skin than Tom, but only slightly. Dirty blonde hair, reddish-brown eyes with bags under them from long nights drawing. His hands had long fingers, and you could see the veins in them, but they weren't super prominent, like Tom's hands were. Trimmed fingernails, but never anything more done to them than that. You couldn't see the bones on his hands. He wasn't incredibly skinny, like Tom was, either. He was tall, or tall to Tom because Tom was four-feet eleven-inches, and lean. Only vaguely muscular, because he worked out sometimes, but most of the time he just played videogames and watched anime. The only thing separating him from most other neckbeards of the internet is that he had IRL friends with differing interests, and he seemed to hit his neckbeard phase a lot later than most others. Hey, at least he wasn't a raging misogynist.

Tom didn't like him.

For as smart as he could be sometimes, he was a complete dumbass. Absolutely oblivious to the fact that anyone liked him romantically, and honestly it was sad. He seemed to think so highly of himself, but he couldn't fathom the thought that someone else other than him liked him at all. Tom found it funny, in a sad and pathetic way. This man could build robots, but wouldn't be able to tell that someone liked him if they went up to him, introduced themselves and immediately proposed marriage.

First off, he didn't like that Tord liked hentai. Like, sure, whatever floats your boat, but that moaning sound that those hentai girls would make was so terribly... Annoying. Horrible. In fact, when people made too much noise like that during sex, it was just grating on the ears. It doesn't sound like they're genuinely having fun, it just sounds forced.

Tord was cocky, and overconfident. He would go into a fight with someone a whole head taller than him, expecting to win. Then, everyone else would have to patch up his face, and his wounded pride. That's another thing, too.

He was overly prideful, almost genuinely narcissistic. Nothing like Matt, but pretty damn close at times. Tom couldn't tell if it was sarcastic or ironic, though, because his voice sounded genuine, but his words sounded like sarcasm. It was incredibly confusing.

In all honesty, though, Tord wasn't so bad. He was interesting. Dynamic. Wicked smart, other than being a complete dumbass. Kind of hot. Okay, kind of really hot. Y'know, in that skinny white guy kind of way.

Tom remembers one time he saw Tord without a shirt on, and it was pretty nice. Edd had spilled cola on Tord, and Tom laughed at his expense, and used that as a quiet excuse to stare as he walked by, and as a way to excuse his smile while he passed him in front of the couch.

Sometimes, he swore that Tord was about to tear him to shreds for being stupid, or making a stupid joke, and Tom found that kind of hot, but there was another, darker side of him that liked it for the wrong reasons.

See, a part of him wanted to use Tord. For bad things. Not just sex, but he wanted to use him to hurt himself. He wanted Tord to be the razorblade.

Tom had a complicated relationship with sex, one that stems from a childhood of awful people, and one that led to self destructive tendancies, like using people as self harm instead of things like razors or cigarettes or self-deprecating jokes. The alcohol was a way to numb that self-harm a little bit, just enough to take the edge off and he can enjoy himself in the moment, and then feel all those scars in the morning.

He wanted Tord to hate-fuck him, in a sense. On one hand, he really genuinely liked him, as much as he hated him, but on the other hand, sometimes he just hated himself more. And the more he hated himself, the more he wanted to use people, and the more he used people, the more he hated himself, and it became a vicious cycle of self hatred and self harm.

Part of him didn't think he could stand being in a relationship with someone because of it. The other part of him desperately wanted one because he could use the help. Another part of him wanted to be a loner again, because he didn't want to have to lean on people that way anymore; he knew it was burdening, and he didn't like the way people looked at him when he asked for help, or told them about how he really felt.

It's not like with Tord, everything disappeared, but he felt like he could bear it another day to see him, to bicker with him, make him laugh, maybe embarass himself in a really funny way in the process. Maybe one day, they would kiss and make up, and everything would fall into place and they would be happy. Tom didn't like the idea of marriage, even with Tord, but he did like the idea of spending a lot of time with him. Maybe even spending the whole rest of his life with him. Being with Tord made him feel romantic and soft. He didn't like it, but he had to deal with that. It's not like he was saying it out loud, or anything, right? He'd probably just keep those thoughts and feelings in his head, and then one day, he'll die, and everything would be fine. Because the only certain thing in your life is that one day, you and everyone you love and everyone around you will die. That's the only thing you can count on, ever.

But one time, the two were drunk. They didn't have sex, no. They were just together, drunk, while no one else was home, or in the room. There was something about being inhebriated with someone that could deepen your connection with them for that moment, and Tom liked that sometimes. He couldn't remember what they talked about, clearly that wasn't important, but he could remember what he felt for most of that conversation, and it was soft. He felt soft. Soft, safe, and secure. Three things he hasn't genuinely felt together in a long time. He didn't know how to feel about feeling this way, he was too drunk to care. He just knew he liked it, and that he would continue to like it until he didn't, and deal with it then.

He could remember laying his head on Tord's lap, and they were both laughing at something stupid on the TV, and they were just so at peace in that stupid, drunken moment that it seemed like they'd forgotten how often they'd fight and bicker and yell at each other.

It's not like they genuinely hated each other, though. In actuality, they got on pretty well, they just happened to bicker a lot, and fight more than the others. Fistfights were rare, but Edd and Matt would force them to patch each other up as a kind of "DIY kiss and make up" thing. Lord knew Edd wasn't going to deal with that shit. Most of their arguments were stupid, anyways. Edd would always have to kick them outside, but usually by that point, they were done, or close to it.

Sometimes, Tom couldn't help but wonder what it might be like to be in the middle of fighting with Tord and to just... Kiss him, maybe? What would his reaction be? Angry? Flustered? Confused? What was Tord's sexuality, even? Tom was pretty open about his being incredibly ambiguous. Everything about him was intentionally blurry and ambiguous, really, and he liked it that way. But Tord seemed really weirdly defensive about his sexuality. He was insistent on being straight, which he clearly was to a degree, but Tom would catch him staring at guys for a little too long at times, and he'd wonder...

Is Tord bisexual, and repressing it?

Matt was openly gay, Tom was just ambiguous, and Edd was bi. It's not like any of them were homophobic. Matt came out nervously, but everyone was super supportive of him, and that inspired Edd to come out later, and everyone was surprised, but supportive. Tom never came out, he just was the way he was all the way from highschool, and even though he was bullied relentlessly for it, he didn't care. Not through any kind of pride thing, or because he was happy, he just didn't care about anyone or anything, because he was too severely depressed and struggling through life to do so, and that was cool. Everything was cool.

Tord, however, seemed to be insistent on being straight. They'd make gay jokes at him, but Tom feels like he was probably one of the only people to really catch on. It was something he'd think about before going to sleep at night. It didn't keep him awake, though, very few things really could. He always felt like asking, but wasn't sure how to ask, and he was sure that Tord would always just go for "I'm straight". He felt like asking would be weird, so he didn't.

Until one day, everyone was at the pool, hanging out. It was a nice, sunny day that day, few clouds. Tom hated days like these because he burned easily, and used that as an excuse to wear a t-shirt over his swim shorts. He and Matt were in the pool, messing around with the inflatable beach-ball, and Tord went and got himself and Edd snow-cones. Soon after handing Edd his, though, Tord seemed to stare off in a different direction for a few minutes. It seemed to go unnoticed to Edd, but Tom caught it, and Matt did, too. Though, he tilted his head until he saw what Tord was staring at, and got distracted as well.

Tom thinks he forgot all about the fact that Tord was staring at a very attractive man.

There were no women surrounding him that Tom would think Tord found attractive, unless he thought that the large, fifty-year-old woman in a tankini, with her eight-year-old granddaughter was attractive. Tom didn't see what was so attractive about this guy, he wasn't super into muscles or things like physical appearances, but he could understand why Matt was attracted to him. But Tord? Tom didn't know Tord had a thing for muscular guys. Did this mean he was a bottom? Were bottoms into muscular guys? Matt was definitely a bottom, and he was staring at that guy, and oh no, now the guy was staring back at them with a weird look. Tom face-palmed.

He walked up to Tord and nudged him. As if to put him in a supportive environment, he said, "He's a looker, ain't he?" He smirked. Tord immediately turned bright red, and coughed, dropping his snow-cone on the ground. Tom laughed. "I'm not looking at-!" He tried to excuse himself, but he could find no one else to be staring at. "What, you got the hots for 'Grandma I'd Not Want To Fuck' over there?" Tord just turned redder, and Tom raised a brow. Tord went quiet for an awkwardly long time, and before Tom had the chance to say anything else, Tord said,  
"Just don't tell anyone." Tom raised his brows. "Yeah, sure, no problem." He said, in a somewhat surprised tone. Then, their conversations were awkward, with a hint of deeper understanding.

Tord didn't really come out to anyone for a while, and Tom didn't push him to. He knew that coming out could be pretty hard, even in a supportive environment, and especially when you've insisted you're straight for such a long time. Like, he didn't get it, but he got it. It was cool.

Then, there was the car kiss.

The two were going to get their groceries while Edd and Matt stayed home. In the checkout, Tord's hand touched Tom's for a short moment, and Tord made a bit of a deal about it, turning red and looking away. When they got to driving back home, Tom brought it up, and Tord denied everything for a moment, until he pulled the car over, and kissed Tom for a good seven seconds. When they pulled apart, Tom kissed Tord again, and then demanded that they get home because they have frozens.

When they got home, they didn't really talk about what happened in the car. They didn't really talk about it, ever. It was only much later that night that Tord knocked on Tom's door, wanting to talk, and even then, they didn't really talk about what happened in the car.

Of course Tom was awake at that time of night. He was barely awake during the day, which sometimes made everyone question what kind of job he had, but at the same time, considering Tom, they weren't really sure they wanted to know. He opened the door pretty quickly, and was open abt the fact that he was only wearing a large shirt with no pants or underwear underneath. Tord turned quite pink and stayed that way for the rest of their conversation.

"So, you wanted to talk?" Tom asked, as he lead Tord into his room. "Not even a first date, and we're already in my room together." Tom went to sit at his computer. "You aren't going to tell anyone, right?" Tord asked. Tom hummed. "Hm? Tell them what?" He asked. "I'm not wearing any underwear? I don't think they'd care." Tord shook his head, not seeming to be in the mood for dumb jokes. "That I'm... Y'know..." He trailed off. Tom squinted. "Bi? I don't care, if you tell me not to say anything, I won't." "How did you know I was bi and not gay?" Tord asked, seeming a little shocked. Tom shrugged. "It's pretty obvious you're into women, but it's also obvious you're into guys, too." He shrugged. Tord looked a little humiliated. "Is it that obvious?" He looked desperate to know. Tom shrugged. "Obvious to me, at least." Tord looked a little shameful at that. Tom seemed to take pity on him, and walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder as he sat on his bed. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, dude." He said. Tord put a hand on his face. "Yeah, I know, I'm just nervous about it." "Why?" Tom asked. "I don't know. I guess it's because I've just been so insistent on being straight this whole time, but I'm really not." Tom raised a brow. "Remember Matt?" He asked, chuckling a little bit. Tord sighed. "Yeah, I just..." He couldn't really seem to explain why he was so nervous. "Anxiety?" Tom said. Tord laid back on Tom's bed and sighed. "Yeah." He replied. "Anxiety."

Tom shrugged. "I don't really get anxiety over that sort of thing, but I get what you mean." He said. "You do?" Tord looked at him. "Diagnosed with social phobia." Tom dabbed, and Tord cringed. "Wow, please never do that again." Tom snorted. "What, talk about my many mental illnesses?" He said, knowing full well that's not what Tord was talking about. Tord rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever." He said, smiling a little. Tom decided to lay down next to him.  
"So..." Tom said. "So what?" Tord said. "I mean, I guess that's it." Tom replied. "So, what? What now? Are you going to tell anyone at some point? Or are we going to die secretly gay for the enemy." Tom chuckled. Tord sighed. "Maybe eventually, but certainly not now. Let's wait for a while." Tom snorted. "You'd be married and still be waiting to tell someone about it." Tord punched Tom in the arm. "Hush." He said. Tom lay on his side and looked at Tord. "Just don't tell anyone for a while. We can talk about it later." Tord got into Tom's bed and under his covers. Tom raised his brows. "Wow, we haven't even had our first date yet, and you're already in my bed." "You were just talking about marriage, so you have no rights." Tom laughed. "I have no rights for many reasons, and that is not one of them." He said. Tord dragged Tom under the covers with him and sighed, as he automatically took the big spoon.

"What makes you think you get the big spoon?" Tom said. "I'm bigger than you by about eleven feet." Tord said, a twinge of humour in his voice. Tom scoffed. "Twelve. You haven't been counting, cuntbucket." He said. Tord cringed at the word 'cuntbucket', and Tom laughed. "I hate that word so much, don't make me dump you already." Tom chuckled and closed his eyes. "You couldn't dump me if you tried." He said, and Tord hated how he knew he was right.

**Author's Note:**

> dont 4get to like, comment, share, there is no god, hit the bell and have a great day. or don,t bc i can't tell you what to do


End file.
